Week 19
So uh... More quarantine... To pass the time I've been watching some netflix, some anime, reading some manga. Recently just started watching "Yesterday wo Utatte". And then since the entire season isn't out yet, I moved onto the manga. And it's a pretty realistic look at relationships (although there are some extreme circumstances). And I feel like I connect with the whole story, and it makes me feel a little empty inside. The main conflict that all the characters are going through is that they want to move forward. With their careers, life and relationships, but they don't want to lose what they currently have. They all deal with it a little different, some just go for it, and others are too afraid to make choices. And some of them lie to themselves about how they feel. And in terms of relationships, I've always been to afraid to do anything until it's too late. This way I can tell myself that it wouldn't have mattered anyways. As long as the status quo isn't changing I make up excuses so I'm not the one who changes it. And that way it's never my fault right?
I've also been thinking lately that I haven't really felt like I wanted a relationship recently. The idea of it is appealing to me, but I'm not sure if it's something I actually want or if I just like the idea. Sure there are females I find attractive, and there's a girl I think is pretty cute (I've told myself that I would say yes if she every wanted to date me), but I'm not sure if that's the only reason or if I actually like her. I also enjoyed spending time with her, even though it was awkward, but I'm not sure if that's specifically because of her or if I just like being around friends in general. Thinking about this late at night, while sleep deprived, is really hard. I'm also a little confused why I'm thinking so hard about this.
The rest of my week was pretty meh. There were some problems with work stuff, getting everything to run smoothly. I stayed up pretty late on Friday to fix it.
This Sunday Michael and Hayden got married! Was a little worried about controlling the stream, but it turned out pretty well. Only a few minor hiccups. ><. So Exciting!
And that's about it for this week.